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Introducing children to new dating partner

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A very stressful part of being a separated parent is introducing your children to a new partner.

Older children tend to be more confused, have opinions and have more memories of their former family life that they may miss and compare new experiences with.

“Don’t hurry to introduce someone new to your kids,” says Aaron Welch, a licensed therapist with The Lifeworks Group in Winter Park, Fla.

“The tendency is to be very excited that you’ve met someone you really like—especially after a tough divorce.

Because of that excitement, people believe their kids will share that same feeling.” Welch explains that children become attached to new people in their life. Romance”), licensed psychotherapist and author of “The Unofficial Guide to Dating,” children should not have any clue that their parents are dating. Tessina says, “Until the relationship is a serious one, children shouldn’t know about dad’s new partner.” She stresses to fathers that they need to really think about what they’re looking for in a new partner.

If the relationship doesn’t work out, then the bond the children established is broken. Fathers are not only looking for a partner for themselves, she explains, but also a stepmother for their children.

Why did it end and do your children know the reasons? Every breakup and the circumstances surrounding it may require a different amount of recovery time.

Was it due to an affair, was it a violent relationship, or did your ex just walk out? Give your children an appropriate amount of time to grieve the end of that prior relationship.

Realize that you don’t need to introduce every person that comes into your life to your children.

Don’t forget, your kids may be protective of you and may not want a new person around.

Then, when the time comes that you do want them to meet someone with whom you are developing a serious relationship, it will take them longer to trust that person.

It is best to wait until you have a committed relationship with someone before introducing your children into the equation.